Monthly Archives: February 2014
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I’M TAKING PART IN A BLOG HOP WITH SOME OTHER AWESOME AUTHORS! HERE’S A LETTER I’D WRITE TO MY SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD SELF ABOUT LOVE AT SIXTEEN.
First off, I want to say I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re funny. But sweet Jesus, girlie-girl, take a look at yourself in the mirror. The t-shirt clips, plastic lattice jellie shoes, and mascara two days, too thick make you look like a hobo who’s fallen off the train–okay, not really, but you get my drift. But if you want to wear them, then own the look because YOU want to. Not because Madonna or someone from Hollywood said it’s a good thing. Be you … whoever you truly are down deep that is knocking on your soul to get out. But do not throw the t-shirt clips away. You will eventually have two daughters (yes, God must hate you a little) that will buy big t-shirts and tie them in knots and show their lower backs which will drive you certifiably INSANE. It seems like bad fashion recycles itself when people get bored as a society.
Now regarding communications, HO. LY. COW. It’s mind boggling. There’s this thing called the Internet and social media, so get ready to have your world rocked. It’s also an entertaining pastime when you see how Grade-A Stupid (trust me, this phrase will make you some money) people can be. It seems it’s normal to post your deepest darkest secrets online for the world to comment on. Seriously, it might be best it wasn’t invented when you were a teen since your mouth didn’t really have a filter then.
Here comes the main reason I’m writing. Sit down. Take a deep breath. You’re not going to die because dumb-butt just broke up with you, cheated on you, and shoved your heart in a blender and hit shred. My word of advice, please, PLEASE stay away from Boyfriend Zero. The boyfriend that started your crazy train on its path of destruction that made you think it was normal to puke your guts out because some guy couldn’t follow through on what he promised. It’s not normal to think you deserve bad. It’s not normal to think you can transform people because they have to want to be good on their own. And if they don’t? Then, girl stay away from their black soul.
If a guy makes you have exorcist-like vomiting, RUN. Run to the freaking hills and take enough food to sustain you until you work him out of your system. It’s much more attractive to find a guy that calls when he says he is going to call, arrives when he says he’s going to arrive, and listens to you with apt attention even if he doesn’t understand a bloody thing you’re talking about.
Listen to your parents.
Always tell the truth.
Keep your friends’ secrets.
Keep smiling at your neighbor that has no family.
Forgive those that hurt you.
Remember the bad things, though, so you can put it in a book–hehehe (career research).
Go out with that crazy guy in the band.
Go out with that geeky guy who sells brownies in the cafeteria (think of the fringe benefits)
Go out with that gorgeous guy who drives a car as big as a battleship.
Treat that angel of a guy who you dated after Boyfriend Zero a little better.
Take that job as editor of that small town paper even though you’re afraid.
Travel the US for two years even though you get lost in airports.
Take every opportunity life throws at you … you only live once. In today’s society we call it YOLO. By God, be a YOLOer.
And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but when all is said and done–FORGIVE BOYFRIEND ZERO. Yep, forgive the Fastard (another word that will make you some cash and look good on a t-shirt).
And above all, don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes that you make. Because you make a heckuvalot of them. We live, we learn, we move on. Be proud of yourself that you at least … lived. You lived and have bad stories that you can share with your kids. But you’ve also got some really, really good ones.
And remember all of those times you cried and prayed that you just weren’t good enough for anyone to love? Well, guess what, someone who has your back comes along (refer back to the gorgeous guy who drives the battleship). So enjoy the life you have because good things are coming. Now go eat that slice of pizza, eat the whole dang pie, and don’t worry that you won’t fit into those size three jeans … because guess what, some girls today actually wear double zeroes!
Sending you Big Love and Girl Power,
AJ Lape, from the future
P.S. MOISTURIZE EVERY FREAKING DAY…TRUST ME.
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