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I’M TAKING PART IN A BLOG HOP WITH SOME OTHER AWESOME AUTHORS! HERE’S A LETTER I’D WRITE TO MY SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD SELF ABOUT LOVE AT SIXTEEN.
First off, I want to say I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re funny. But sweet Jesus, girlie-girl, take a look at yourself in the mirror. The t-shirt clips, plastic lattice jellie shoes, and mascara two days, too thick make you look like a hobo who’s fallen off the train–okay, not really, but you get my drift. But if you want to wear them, then own the look because YOU want to. Not because Madonna or someone from Hollywood said it’s a good thing. Be you … whoever you truly are down deep that is knocking on your soul to get out. But do not throw the t-shirt clips away. You will eventually have two daughters (yes, God must hate you a little) that will buy big t-shirts and tie them in knots and show their lower backs which will drive you certifiably INSANE. It seems like bad fashion recycles itself when people get bored as a society.
Now regarding communications, HO. LY. COW. It’s mind boggling. There’s this thing called the Internet and social media, so get ready to have your world rocked. It’s also an entertaining pastime when you see how Grade-A Stupid (trust me, this phrase will make you some money) people can be. It seems it’s normal to post your deepest darkest secrets online for the world to comment on. Seriously, it might be best it wasn’t invented when you were a teen since your mouth didn’t really have a filter then.
Here comes the main reason I’m writing. Sit down. Take a deep breath. You’re not going to die because dumb-butt just broke up with you, cheated on you, and shoved your heart in a blender and hit shred. My word of advice, please, PLEASE stay away from Boyfriend Zero. The boyfriend that started your crazy train on its path of destruction that made you think it was normal to puke your guts out because some guy couldn’t follow through on what he promised. It’s not normal to think you deserve bad. It’s not normal to think you can transform people because they have to want to be good on their own. And if they don’t? Then, girl stay away from their black soul.
If a guy makes you have exorcist-like vomiting, RUN. Run to the freaking hills and take enough food to sustain you until you work him out of your system. It’s much more attractive to find a guy that calls when he says he is going to call, arrives when he says he’s going to arrive, and listens to you with apt attention even if he doesn’t understand a bloody thing you’re talking about.
Listen to your parents.
Always tell the truth.
Keep your friends’ secrets.
Keep smiling at your neighbor that has no family.
Forgive those that hurt you.
Remember the bad things, though, so you can put it in a book–hehehe (career research).
Go out with that crazy guy in the band.
Go out with that geeky guy who sells brownies in the cafeteria (think of the fringe benefits)
Go out with that gorgeous guy who drives a car as big as a battleship.
Treat that angel of a guy who you dated after Boyfriend Zero a little better.
Take that job as editor of that small town paper even though you’re afraid.
Travel the US for two years even though you get lost in airports.
Take every opportunity life throws at you … you only live once. In today’s society we call it YOLO. By God, be a YOLOer.
And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but when all is said and done–FORGIVE BOYFRIEND ZERO. Yep, forgive the Fastard (another word that will make you some cash and look good on a t-shirt).
And above all, don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes that you make. Because you make a heckuvalot of them. We live, we learn, we move on. Be proud of yourself that you at least … lived. You lived and have bad stories that you can share with your kids. But you’ve also got some really, really good ones.
And remember all of those times you cried and prayed that you just weren’t good enough for anyone to love? Well, guess what, someone who has your back comes along (refer back to the gorgeous guy who drives the battleship). So enjoy the life you have because good things are coming. Now go eat that slice of pizza, eat the whole dang pie, and don’t worry that you won’t fit into those size three jeans … because guess what, some girls today actually wear double zeroes!
Sending you Big Love and Girl Power,
AJ Lape, from the future
P.S. MOISTURIZE EVERY FREAKING DAY…TRUST ME.
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No Brainer is nominated over at Young Adult and Teen Readers for Best Laugh Out Loud Book of 2013!!! I’d be thrilled if you could go cast a vote for Darcy!!
My daughters loooooooove pretzels (frankly, I think they taste like cardboard), but when you dip pretzel rods into white chocolate, now you’re speaking a language I understand. Translation!!!! Sugar!!!! This recipe is super easy, and it’s one of those good family-bonding moments that you perform every so often to remind yourself that you love one another. The best part is that not only are they a delicious treat, but you get to flex your creativity and have lots of fun making them!
Recipe Prep Time: 10 minutes
- 12 pretzel rods 2 cups white chocolate morsels (or dark chocolate morsels)
- 1/2 cup fruity pretzels, sprinkles, crushed candy bars, mini-redhot candies
In a large microwave safe mug, melt the white chocolate morsels in microwave until melted, approx 2-3 minutes. You may need to remove the chocolate after the first minute to stir. While chocolate is melting, pour the sprinkles on to plate. When the chocolate is gooey and melted, dip the end of the pretzels into the melted chocolate, about 3/4 of the pretzel should be covered. Lift the pretzel from the chocolate and rotate until evenly coated. Lay the chocolate-coated pretzel in the bed of sprinkles and rotate to coat. Let the pretzels dry and allow chocolate to harden. Enjoy!!!!
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel’s not the Hereafter … it’s a train…Darcy Walker, No Brainer
DARCYVILLE … where stupidity is celebrated … with a deadly dose of sin.
Two weeks before junior year, Darcy hops a plane to Orlando for a little R&R with her best friend Dylan and his family. Fresh off the heels of solving three murders in Valley, you’d think she’d sit back and enjoy the vacation capital of the world … maybe if you’re a noun. Darcy Walker, however, is nothing but verb.
Before her feet hit the Orlando soil, she’s meddling in the disappearance of a five-year-old boy who vanished six months earlier. With authorities still no closer to solving the case, Darcy is shanghaied by her impulsivity and runs headlong into that proverbial burning building, convinced she can bring him home. She travels down a road that not only follows this missing child but branches off into the corrupt and sinister world of mob activity when she tampers in a case on which Dylan’s detective grandfather is working. After a near disastrous midnight meeting in a warehouse and a date with a mechanical bull, Darcy realizes she might’ve bitten off more than she can chew. Add the boiling flirtationship with her best friend and the appearance of his romantic rival, and she is in over her head. Will she survive a life of flirting with death too easily? Or will her flirtationship with Dylan become the actual death of her instead? For a girl with a habit of finding dead bodies, No Brainer gives Darcy Walker more of the same … surprising twists and turns … and running for her life.
For more Favorite Christmas Cookie Recipes & Giveaways – Hop along the 12 Days of Christmas Blog Hop!
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The Spooky Spectacular Event will kick off Friday and run through midnight Sunday (Oct 18-20). Featuring 60+ of today’s hottest authors, $1,000 in prizes and tons of awesome giveaways (Kindle Fires anyone? Coach wristlets?), the event is going to be a blast!
And most importantly, readers will be able to fill up their Kindles with incredible ebooks, all priced at .99! Check out all the gorgeous books at the event’s webpage. Just click here!
RSVP at the event’s FB page to be automatically entered into the drawing for one of three Kindle Fires! Click here to visit the event page. Instructions for earning extra entries for the drawing will be on the event page! Additional links to Rafflecopter entries for other giveaways will also be available on the event page as well.
A special thank you goes out to Lisa Markson, Leanne Jacobson, Stephanie Shaw and Emily Rae for all their help with the event. You all rock!
Spooky Spectacular sponsored by …
Today marks the first day of the No Brainer Book Club!! Whoo-hooo!! I’m sooooo excited! We’re going to be meeting on a Facebook Event Page every night this week from 8-10PM EST. Bring your game faces, food, questions, and be ready for some FUN!!! Heather Mcguire of Lady Pink’s Bookshelf will be co-hosting with me, and we can’t wait to party with you guys, Darcy Walker style!!
NOTE: We’re going to try to get through the first seven chapters tomorrow.
Hope to see you there!!
AJ and Heather
Today starts the first day of my No Brainer Reviewers Giveaway!!! If you’ve reviewed No Brainer or plan to soon, enter this giveaway for a chance to win an autographed copy plus Darcy Walker SWAG and merchandise. 1st prize, $10 Amazon gift card, autographed copy of No Brainer plus Darcy SWAG pack AND SWAG from some of my favorite bestselling authors. 2nd prize, $5 Amazon gift card, autographed copy of No Brainer plus a Darcy Walker SWAG pack.
The contest is going to run for a little over a month with the opportunity for daily points. So click on the rafflecopter and get started on your way to some cool prizes!!